Random thoughts of a random fellow Vol. 14

The great thing about life is, you can die at any moment.
Which means your enemies can die at any moment.
So you should acquire more enemies to improve those odds.

Amazing the work you can do when you do a half assed job.

New study shows that 90% of study results can be obtained  just by asking someone smart

The man who invented Pringles, had his body buried in a Pringles can.
I wonder what they’ll do to the selfie stick inventor.

I know  we’ve only started this message board war, but can I call you Hitler?

Doesn’t matter how many movies you have on your hard drive, you always want to watch the last one you downloaded

The world is my oyster, it’s bad and it makes me want to throw up.

Dear Adam Smith, the hand may be invisible, but I can still feel it in my pocket.

When you quote facts and the other side quotes ideals, you know you won the argument.

The diet battle is decided in the supermarket. in the kitchen you are just negotiating for terms of surrender.

The only thing that beats childhood friends are childhood bullies.

Too many Facebook friends?Arab-Israeli conflict to the rescue!

There is no time wasted like time wasted reading platitudes.

 

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Stopping by parking lot to scratch a bimbo’s car (poem based on a true story)

Stopping by parking lot to scratch a bimbo’s car

Whose car this is I think I know
It belongs to that dumb bimbo
She will not see me stopping here
To scratch her paint job to and fro

My little bike she overtook
My gentle nature she mistook
She honked her horn to startle me
I won’t let her get off the hook

I give my keys a little ‘chin’
Make sure that no one is within
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of metal on Korean tin (Hyundai)

The parking’s lovely in the sun
But I have more errands to run
Not all of them are so much fun
Not all of them are so much fun

June 2014

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Random thoughts of a random fellow Vol. 13

 

Random Game of Thrones thought.
How come the words of house Greyjoy are,
“We do not sow” and “what is dead may never die”,
instead of “hit your commander on the head” and “beware of dog”?

Idea for an insult: you’re two slices of bread short of an asshole sandwich.

Q: If we evolved from monkeys, why are the monkeys still around?
A: Well, atheists evolved from religious people, and they’re still around.

Tim Duncan is prose in motion.

Is it right to bring children into a world that has so many great TV shows?

What I learned today.
One sharp pain in the shoulder while jogging- you’re probably out of shape.
Another sharp pain in the side while jogging- something weird is going on.
A third sharp pain in the back of the head- you’re being attacked by a crow.

Reality TV: People who lack morals using people who lack shame to sell products that lack value to people who lack taste.

Happy Birthday, may all your rational dreams come true.

Democracies spy on their citizens by holding free elections every few years.

The difference between Cantonese and  Wontonese dumplings is the effort.

The Early bird may get the worm, but who wants worms?

G R R Martin taught us, that if there’s something worse than plots that go nowhere, it’s plots that go everywhere.

The ultimate test of willpower, is returning an ice cream container to the fridge.

 

 

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