My new year’s resolution is 1920 by 1080.
I used to get Deepak Chopra and Chupacabra mixed up until I realized Chupacabra is the goat-sucker and Chopra suckers people.
When you dip your cookie into tea, the tea also drips onto you.
Somebody has broken into my Facebook account and made some posts and comments.
His tastes are much better than mine, so I’m just gonna let them stand.
A medicine without side effects or risks is called a placebo.
Could really use a program for automatically posting birthday wishes on Facebook.
All beginning of life are alike, every extinction event is different.
Yikes! it turns out Human Centipede is actually not a Russel Brand biopic.
The price for advanced civilization is money.
If i can replicate it, it’s not art.
If i never played, it it’s not a sport.
If it has a question mark, it isn’t news.
They call it “lost in thought” for a reason.
Yahoo answers is the most aptly named thing on the internet.
We should respect Religious people, they are the ancestors that atheists evolved from.
80% of what I do consists of making ‘to do’ lists.
Don’t understand all the gay marriage fuss, isn’t marriage kinda gay to begin with?
Captain America (created in 1941) has no superhuman powers.
Instead he has increased agility, strength, speed, endurance and reflexes.
Basically he’s a black athlete in a white athlete’s body.
What’s this END OF THE WORLD nonsense? Everyone knows the world ends when I fall asleep and is reborn when I wake up.