Going to a sport event is about fulfilling a dream, the dream of verbally abusing millionaires.
What McDonald’s did to the word meat, Facebook is doing to the word friend.
Technology brings distant people together and alienates people who are close.
Questions that can be answered with a definite yes or no can be presented mathematically.
In the porn industry, the greatest audio compliment you can receive is the sound of one hand clapping.
Even in a thousand years, religious fanatics and gay people will have their differences.
The main difference being, gay people will still be around.
Songs featuring the word featuring aren’t worth listening to.
Most cover versions are so named because they make you want to cover your ears.
Been suspecting Lance Armstrong ever since I noticed all his tweets began with “Psst”.
Racism is like masturbation, everybody does it, very few admit it and you get in trouble for doing it in public.
Thinking of putting my money where my mouth is and invest in some Lindt and Sprüngli stock.
Buying insurance is the act of spending money, hoping you will never get any back.
Growing up, I thought I was marked as one of god’s chosen people.
Today I realize I’m at most one of Mark Zuckerberg’s tagged people.