If two people walk into a restaurant and order eight desserts, do all of them count as desserts or just the last one or two?
When I said you should donate your body to science, I meant right now.
The greenest purchase you can make is the one you don’t.
The East German female 4×100 meters relay world record can rot in its grave.
The East German runners can’t.
So, I watched the new Batman movie.
Great movie overall, except Bane came off as a bit of a comic book villain.
When asked by security “what is the purpose of your flight?”, I always answer “landing.”
When we compliment other people’s taste in music, film or literature we are in fact complimenting ourselves.
I wish lance Armstrong would come clean about the doping affair, But it seems like he doesn’t have the ball to do it.
When someone says they like a particular foreign culture it usually means they enjoy that culture’s food.
Racists of the world unite!
Seeking female partner for a temporary relationship, about 50 years should do it.
I’m gonna try to be nicer to people.
Should be easy.
Being meaner to people, now that’s gonna be nearly impossible.
Google translate is either a rotten translator or a brilliant poet.
What do WWII aficionados and Nazis have instead of Godwin’s law?
The world would be a better place if there were lots more extreme lefty liberals.
Also if there were lots less.
Why bother counting every calorie you eat when your body does it for you automatically?