Random thoughts of a random fellow, take 16

 

 

Do Wi-Fi passwords still exist
after the router dies?

Q: why do so many gypsies play musical instruments?
A: because people want to see where their hands are.

I’m so old, I remember when Internet headlines didn’t all end with a question mark.

When you have a big travel bag, you will fill up every available square inch.
When you have a small travel bag, you will realize you can do with even less space than you have.
I think there’s a lesson to be learned here.

You can tell a lot about an asshole by the noun used to describe him.

If you are unwilling to provide public transportation, just sell the people cars and convince them it’s “freedom”

Maybe she’s porn with it, maybe it’s Autocomplete.

Life has two meanings: entertainment and growth.

An almighty being would not work in mysterious ways.
Unless you expected him to.

I went on a tourist excursion once.
They sure took me for a ride.

People who wish to be judged by their cars, should be.

I know it was you, Semifreddo.
You broke my diet.

If the wicked shall have no rest, won’t they have more time for their wicked plans?

In a finite universe,  every edition is a “limited edition” and every offer is “time limited”.

People are the same wherever you go, they all say I need a haircut.

——————————————————————————————

It’s a shame what’s happening with the Syrian refugees.

If only there was a country in Europe, or at least Asia Minor,
which could take them in.
A country with a well established Islamic faith, where they will not feel out of place.
A beautiful land, stretching across more than 0.783 million square kilometers, where they may settle down and find refuge.
A sovereign nation with over 77 million citizens, where they will hardly be noticed.
A place with a strong army, and a GDP that’s higher than Brazil’s,
so they may feel safe and secure.

And if only, and this is just crazy wishful thinking, this magical kingdom shared a 400 kilometer border with Syria.

‪#‎youmaysayimadreamer‬

 

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Random thoughts of a random fellow, Take 15

How hot was it in Paris today?
I actually saw a painted watch melting.

The opposite of mañana is Jetzt.

Doesn’t matter how many films you already have on your hard drive, you always want to watch the last one you downloaded.

Even if he is the only inmate, the prisoner believes the gallows are for someone else

Give them milk, and two years later they ask for cookies.
#Slipperyslope

The holy Quran, 99 out of 100 terrorists swear by it.

The only important question for humanity: will we make other planets habitable before we make ours inhabitable?

I WAS ONLY ORDERING FOLLOWERS

People with no organ donor cards, nothing good will come out of them.

“Palestinian” is the name Arabs give to their mistakes.

I wanted to take a picture at the Louvre, but they said I couldn’t.
Turns out they are very valuable.

Israel is actually quite safe.
We haven’t had a war in year.

The main obstacle to world peace, is my lack of ambition.

When will they have a “take your enthusiasm for work day”?

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Random thoughts of a random fellow Vol. 14

The great thing about life is, you can die at any moment.
Which means your enemies can die at any moment.
So you should acquire more enemies to improve those odds.

Amazing the work you can do when you do a half assed job.

New study shows that 90% of study results can be obtained  just by asking someone smart

The man who invented Pringles, had his body buried in a Pringles can.
I wonder what they’ll do to the selfie stick inventor.

I know  we’ve only started this message board war, but can I call you Hitler?

Doesn’t matter how many movies you have on your hard drive, you always want to watch the last one you downloaded

The world is my oyster, it’s bad and it makes me want to throw up.

Dear Adam Smith, the hand may be invisible, but I can still feel it in my pocket.

When you quote facts and the other side quotes ideals, you know you won the argument.

The diet battle is decided in the supermarket. in the kitchen you are just negotiating for terms of surrender.

The only thing that beats childhood friends are childhood bullies.

Too many Facebook friends?Arab-Israeli conflict to the rescue!

There is no time wasted like time wasted reading platitudes.

 

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